When a Man Seeks to Embarrass & Destroy: The “Pending” Divorce of Porsha Stewart

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I was very shocked to hear that the husband of Porsha Stewart (the newbie on Real Housewives of Atlanta) reportedly filed for divorce against her. Huh, the nerve of this downlow brother.

Money or no money, Kordell Stewart, is not a prize to anyone. He is extremely corny; he makes Nick Cannon look like the stud muffin of the year. Atlanta is all about living the high style life so I’m not going to judge Porsha for marrying such a dweeb… Maybe she fell victim to the love of a man with money who wanted a young, naive, woman who would come and help his “image”. I don’t know them so I can’t judge; all I do know is marriage these days for public figures is a joke and someone has to speak up about it.

I only watched a few episodes of Real Housewives of Atlanta this season but from the episodes I saw Porsha seemed to be obedient to her husband and allowed him to play the man role… Well atleast that’s how it looked on tv. I remember seeing a promo for an episode where Nene Leakes (Porsha’s fellow housewife who had admittedly been in an abusive relationship in her past) said in her interview scene that Kordell was controlling.

A man who feel the need to control a G.A.W (Grown Ass Woman) obviously has a problem. Homegirl even seemed too scared to go to a female strip club. Gah, where they do that at? (In my most ghettoist voice ever, lol). Maybe Kordell wasn’t whipping her ass but there was definitely something he was leveraging against her in his pursuit of control… I can tell you guys what it was… It was the money and the name.

I can tell that Porsha loves the power it brings to be Kordell Stewart’s wife especially in the city of Atlanta. She drives a benz around town and pull up to a mansion. She can shop, socialize, and try to get her singing career off the ground without worrying about her bills. She loved the fact that her husband could drop money on her without a problem and she loved to rub her marital status in (her other co-star) Kenya Moore’s face. It was like waaaam bish, I’m married to a baller and you’re not… Oh but look at her ass now.

My assumption is Porsha started to rebel against the tight regime of Kordell Stewart. Think about it, she’s getting her own money now (episode fees go up as you go along in Reality TV-land) and she is now famous from her own right. So now she doesn’t have to listen to every single thing her rich husband has to say. Kordell, in straight Deion Sanders fashion, decided that he’s not going to deal with it… So he embarrasses her by announcing he’s divorcing her and has a nerve to put out a statement talking about “it’s difficult.”

Duh Kordell, of course it’s difficult but whats worse is you could have kept it cute and gracefully bowed out but nooooo, instead you decided to make a public stinct and now she is embarrassed. All that bragging and all that insta-balling she participated in is now coming to an end and with no children between them and a marriage of two years or less, she most likely going to get a alimony check and a get-out-the-mansion-by June demand.

See this is why it is good to be an independent woman because when a man with money seek to destroy you, he will win if you don’t have much to fall back on and now she may be forced to kiss the Bravo producers’ ass so that she can at least guarantee herself another season which may help her land herself on her feet or at least another baller… Uugh, I am just happy I will never have to go through this because I will always work to get mine.

We’ll see how this all pan out. All I know is Kordell Stewart really has these heauxs laughing at her, NATIONALLY. I don’t know if he’s doing this as a publicity stunt to scare her or not but whatever it is… She needs to be done with him indefinitely, take her L gracefully, and move on while her baby heads are still perky.

What are your thoughts about this “divorce”!? Is it bullcrap or is it really real? Should Porsha try to save face and be quiet?

Dating: Finding Someone New After a Long Term Relationship!

Dear Diary,

Life is funny sometimes. You just never know who is in the background waiting for you and your dude to break up. I truly believe that people who just got out of relationships need time to grow and time to heal from the past relationships but if you are over it and over him, DO YOU!

I’m laughing because we always think a person had to be cheating with the next person if they get into a relationship right away after a break up but I am living proof that that is not true. Recently, I decided to end things with my fiance’, who I was with for 4 years. As soon as word broke out in my small circle about me being a single lady, a guy friend asked can he take me out. I knew dude for ever and wouldn’t normally go out so quick but I said, why not? And accepted his offer. I didn’t know what to call it. OMG! Is this a date? Is this chilling? Whatever it was, I knew I had to be cute.

I was ready!!!! Yes, ready to enjoy myself. I had no baggage left from my past relationship (when it’s over, it’s over) and was sure that the chapter with my ex was FINITO. Yes ladies, be sure that you don’t want the ex before you go on a date with the next.

Anyway, I looked cute; not too sexy and not too classy… Just hot! Needless to say, I had one of the most romantic dates ever. He was a pure gentlemen and I was very impressed. I never believed in a million years that I would be on a date with a man I knew my whole life but walla magic, here we were on a date, chilling, and enjoying each other’s company. It was a great feeling.

Now, I told you that to tell you this. Life is too short to not go on dates because you are too afraid to explore the world and hurt people feelings. When your relationship is over, you have the key to open any new door you would like to open. You just have to be ready to embrace a new world. That is why I started my new DATING GIRL Movement. It’s for the girls who dare to move on with their life and is super-happy about their new or old freedom. Freedom could be from your ex, freedom could be the pass to explore a new world, freedom could be anything you make it as long as you are happy.

I don’t want my ladies rebounding but hey, can’t get mad if another dude catch the steal. When you are a hot commodity, men are going to come and try to get you as soon as they find out you no longer have a owner and I love it. I love a man who is bold and who respected my relationship enough to wait. There are not many men like that out there…the best part of my date was that he didn’t talk about sex or try to get in my drawers. Ugh, I hate when men do that. You don’t ever have to feen for the panties, we know if and when were going to give them up.

Needless to say, me and my Mystery Man (I don’t show guys faces in pics until I know were solid) will go out on another date. I will keep you guys posted about my new dating life. Check out my pics from my date! And I better hear about you going on a date soon too! Muah…my new book, “You Gotta Lose to Win: Breaking Up, No Making Up, and Moving On with Your Life!” will explain it all.

P.S . Always rememer that another man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Muah, love you for free!

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Love: Does Looks Still Matter?

Dear Diary,

Yesterday my good actor friend, Jason Lanzar Rivera, visited me at my beautiful Boutique in Brooklyn (Loveys).

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Jason is a fabulous actor. He has recently appeared in the movie, King of Paper Chasers. If you haven’t seen the movie yet, go and see it because it is really good.

Anywho, Jason is what we call a handsome man; ok a gorgeous man. He looks way better than he appears on television. I posted a pic of him and I on all of my social networking sites (Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram) and the response from women were crazyyyy. Seeing this response made me ask, does looks still matter to people? I know it did to a specific person I was trying to find a man for but damn, does it matter now?

Would you like a man based on his looks? Does a man looks what determines if you want him or not? As women are we more weak off of a good looking man versus one not so good looking? Or are we more sexually attracted to men who have great looks?

If you ask me, looks doesnt mean anything to me. A pretty man could be an ugly soul. Sure a great looking man is nice to look at and damn sure is some great eye candy but that’s all it is. I go by a man’s personality and thankful for my good friend Jason, he has the talent and personality any girl would die for. Choosing a mate off of looks alone will leave you in a dark and lonely place. Yeah, you will miss out on all the good ones waiting for one who has those “perfect looks.”

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I wrote this post to make sure that you check your superficial ways at the door when waiting for your Mr. Right! Don’t choose a man off of looks alone but by his character. Yes, you have to judge a man by his principles, lol.

Have you ever chose a man based off of his looks? Share your story!

Also, follow my boy, Jason Lanzar Rivera on Twitter now!

Love: Great Relationships Take Going Through Some Fuckery!

Dear Diary,

When I was younger, I was a girl who dreamed of being married and living happily ever after. I believed that if you you were in a relationship with love that you would never go through problems. Boy as I got older my life and views has certantly changed. I realize now that in order to have a great relationship, you have to go through some ish.

I remember going over wedding songs with Cas and he said that he wanted our wedding song to be New Edition’s “Can You Stand the Rain.” When he said that I wanted to punch him in his throat but then I begin to listen to the lyrics over and over. Listening to the song really opened my eyes to love and relationships in general. Yes, everybody love you when things are great and life is good but what happens when the storm come? Are you going to be in the rain with me, running around with no umbrellas? Most people wont be around when bad ish happen or when a change of life come. Great song choice Cas but it aint happening (laughs).

When choosing a mate, you have to ask yourself can my love for this person stand the test of time? Will I still love and want to be with this person if he was in a car accident and was no longer able to dick me down the same way? What about if he lost his income and wasn’t able to buy you all of those expensive things you like?

These questions are real because in life, real shit happens and your answers are what determines whether your love is real or is it just plain fantasy. A couple who never went through anything drastic dont know what it is to ride or die for their mate. You need a real test to have a testimony of love.

Many single people and those who are in new relationships have ideologies about what they think relationships are but they wouldnt know what a relationship was if you smacked them in the face with one. Relationships are getting thru the rough patches and still making it work. It will not always be dreamy, sometimes bad times will come but it’s up to us to make it through and make it, TOGETHER.

So the next time you and your man is going through it, remember you’re not good until you make bad GREAT. Relationships that go through it, GET THROUGH IT.

Share your stories of standing the rain with your man!!!!! Also, please share!

Love: Broken Men & Your Attempt to Save Them…

Dear Diary,

I know I have been gone for a minute but I was writing my first ever screen play. Yes, you read it right; I am writing and directing a movie in Brooklyn. Yep!

Anywho, I am back and today I would like to talk about broken men. Now what is a broken man? Well that’s a good question. A broken man is man who is emotionally unable to love and/or accept love into his life. He is a man who should have received a SSI check when he was younger because he just don’t have it all upstairs. A broken man is a self-sabotager who make sure he messes things up with any woman who shows him love especially if he feels himself falling too.

You can’t blame a man for being broken. Most of the times, you have to blame their sociological factors such as their nature and their nurture. Many broken men become that way from what they had to go through in their environment but MOST of them learn their shitty ways from the people that they were around most which is their mother.

Many women fall in love with broken men hoping that they can save them and show them a little love but they are truly mistaken. You can’t undo 25 years of fuckery!!! Nothing can help this man but prayer. A broken man must know and respect the fact that he is emotionally broken and that he may need help to overcome what has happened in his past.

Have you ever dealt with a man and no matter what you tried to do, he never seemed to show you the same love and respect back. Well, you may have dealt with a broken man. See, these broken men want to love and want to show love but they just don’t know how. No one has shown them how to properly care and feel empathy for someone else; all they know how to do is be messed up and care for themselves. Well at least they think they care for themselves. A broken man is very miserable and insecure and does not have a clue on how they can change their lives; so why are you trying to be Wonder Bitch, thinking you can change his life?????

No matter how much you may love someone, sometimes shit just doesn’t work out. Love is not enough; you have to leave a dude to keep a dude. Staying in a bad situation with a broken man is not going to help the situation, it is going to hurt the situation…Leave him and let him realize on his own that he need to get his shit together.

Life is too short to be playing Psychiatrist to your man, boo, or whatever he is to you. Who has time for all of that? If you want to be in psycho therapy, go get your license and charge $400 an hour. Don’t be one for free! Shit, you try to help him and end up messing your own ass up (I have seen this happen plenty of times). There are many warm poles out here that is looking for a woman like you to love. Leave this dude to the wolves until he get some act right.

I know I sound harsh but hey, life is harsh and I too have dealt with some broken men in my life but I can gladly testify that my life is much better without all of their drama and negativity. I don’t have time for dudes who start arguments and create bullcrap illusions in their heads all because they can’t deal with the fact that they were falling for me or that stuff was going good. <————–That's that self-sabotager thing I discussed earlier.

We'll go more into this one day. Share your broken men stories with me! Also, please comment and share!

Video: We Had the Same Penis…Why Are You So Mad?

I made a video a few months ago about women who get mad at you because you both had sex with the same dude. It’s like what the hell is shorty problem. It’s time for women to grow up and be more cool with another. We obviously have something in common if we had the same penis.

Don’t give the power to the PENIS!

Watch the video and share!

Love: Does His Grind Match Your Grind?

Dear Diary,

Now a days it is hard being a motivated woman. I guess it’s because most men are indeed intimidated by a strong woman who knows what she wants. When you are a successful chick, It’s better to already have someone already who understands those late nights of script writing (my life), those days when you take a lot of money out of the home to enhance your business (my life), you traveling, meeting new and exciting people. Everything in these type of relationships are cool until you sit down and ask yourself, are you the only motivated one in your relationship.

Being on the grind is not an easy thing; but hey, someone has to do it. I am a certified general when it comes down to grinding so I don’t expect any man who grinds as much as I do. In my past relationships, I have had a huge problem being with dudes because they’re grind was very limited. I am the type of person who goes hard in the paint when I want something in life. I go out and make shit happen; straight up and down. I hate dudes who sit around and dream about what they want to do and I hate people (in general) who’s excuse to why they don’t go after their dreams is because they don’t have the money. I always tell people who don’t have the money to at least come up with a game plan on how to get the money and also a game plan for the dream itself so your ass can be ready when you finally do get the money.

Plan…Plan is a word that wasn’t even in my dictionary until about a few weeks ago (don’t judge me!). Through trial and error, I have learned that if you fail to plan, you plan to fail and a DUDE WITHOUT A PLAN IS A FAIL (a vice versa).

You can’t be the only planner in your relationship. You have to definitely have the same kind of thoughts when it comes down to living your life together as a couple. If you are thinking like a millionaire and he is thinking like a “as long as I make $100 a day,” your relationship will not last through the test of time no matter how good you guys seem to be good for each other on a personal level.

My parents have been married for 28 years and I’d like to think that majority of the reasons why they are still married is because they wanted the same things out of life which was some kids, a good job, a good benefit package, and a home to raise their family in. Fortunately, they accomplished every goal they had and checked it off the list. Now they are just chilling and living happily and that is the formula to good relationships…Yes, in a good relationship you and your mate is on the same page when it comes down to your life and for your future. No one is jealous of anyone and everyone is focused on the plan.

Now what happens when you are on your GRIND and he isn’t?

Good question, from my experience this leads to jealousy and the relationship doesn’t last for the long haul. A person you sleep with every night can be jealous of you and mostly because you out there getting yours versus him going out there and talking about getting his. The guy gets either very sad because he realizes that his grind doesn’t match yours, or he gets real competitive with you and your achievements like he is playing basketball with is boys, or he starts to talk down/insult because he feels less than a man next to you and your achievements.

The first sign of jealousy is the not telling their friends or family members about your achievements. You’ve been promoted and is now making double the money but your man just so happen to forget to tell his mama about your promotion when he goes around telling her everything else. – He’s jealous

If he starts asking too many questions about your recent achievements, can’t come to your graduation (all of a sudden), start bringing up someone else’s accomplishments that seem to be doing better than you, or try to insult you- he is jealous and you my friend don’t need him.

The last but worse thing a jealous dude does is CHEAT. This happens when your accomplishments has turned your 6’5 man into a size of a baby shrimp and he need some loving from a chickenhead who admires the fact that he “at least has a job.” He gets all in her cooch to make himself feel better because he don’t feel like the man standing next to you. He knows that cheating on you will make you feel low (self-esteem wise) if you find out. If you don’t find out, he knows inside of his head what happened, which makes him feel like he has a one up on you.

Woah, its a cold world out here. I go deep into this jealousy in my book, “Girl, Get Your Mind Right!”

Anyway,

If you are single and/or looking for Mr. Right (even though, a woman should wait until Mr. Right finds her); ask yourself, does his grind match my grind before you waste your time giving out the goodies. Remember, he doesn’t have to be a millionaire or a basketball player to be a grinder because I have met plenty of people with money who are not GRINDERS. Don’t waste your time in a relationship with someone you know is not going to EVER match your GRIND…especially with one who don’t understand when it’s time to step their GRIND up. You have to have these honest conversations with your mate before you do something drastic in your relationship like get married or have children.

Man, I swear this love ish is all so complicated, just make the right decisions for yourself!

How important is it to you to have a man who grind hard? Please comment and share with others!

Love: Do You Really Love Yourself or Are You Just Faking Jacks?

Dear Diary,

I received a great response on my post about Jay-Z and Beyonce’s relationship and the song, “Love on Top.” Reading some of the comments and some of the things my supporters said on Twitter really has me thinking. I ended the post basically saying that a man would put your love on top once he sees that you put your own love on top. I said it and I meant it with all of my heart.

There are many beautiful women in the world and for the ones who are not, there are many things that can make her beautiful such as well (such as weave, butt shots, fake tits, whatever) but there aren’t many women who love themselves. I’ll use Kim Kardashian as an example. Kim is a cute girl no matter what you may think of her, she always keep herself together (looks wise). She looks great on the outside but inside but her male trail (yes, credit me if you use this) shows me that she doesn’t love herself.

TIONNAISM:

Male Trail: When you go from penis to penis without giving yourself a break (or a coochie fan). After a while there are so many footsteps, it leaves a trail.

Being able to be by yourself (when necessary) is a huge sign of loving yourself. Now some may think that designer labels and money can buy you self love but, that my dear is not the case. Sure looking good could make you feel good but that my friend is a temporary feeling. Self love is something that many people are not blessed to have and Kim Kardashian can shoot 90 seasons of a reality show and bone every rapper/singer/basketball player until her cooch turns blue and still won’t be able to purchase the love that she is looking for.

TIONNAOLOGY: Seeking the love you are missing within yourself from another person is a deadly sin in this love thing.

I hate hearing women say that they’re man is their better half. I always correct them and say, “no, you are your better half and when you and him (two whole individuals) come together it’s just better.” Finding love within yourself means taking the time out to be with YOURSELF. People are so desperate these days that they settle for anything someone is throwing out to them just because they are afraid to be alone. But like I say in my award winning book, Girl, Get Your Mind Right! , you are alone anyway if you are dealing with some corny loser who doesn’t treat you right, who don’t come home at night, and treat you like dog poo. Sure the body may be there but his mind, heart, and spirit is somewhere at the next chick’s house. Why settle for that?

Sometimes when you want to love yourself, you have to first pray; I don’t know if you believe in God or not but I do and prayer really helped me find myself for myself. The next thing you have to do is take off all of your clothes and look yourself in the mirror. Look into that mirror and tell yourself that you love you no matter how fat the gut is or no matter how much you wish you had a butt like Nicki.

TIONNAOLOGY: Loving yourself is beyond the physical, it is all in the mind; and when you change your frame of mind, you change your LIFE.

Lastly, spend some time with YOU. Take YOU to the movies, take YOU bra shopping, take YOU for some ice cream…Treat yourself good. How would he know how to treat YOU if YOU don’t know how to treat YOU? Self-esteem and confidence is my number 1 defense when it comes down to not falling too hard for anyone (not even my man). My confidence and self-esteem keeps me from being too emotional. It allows me to make better decisions and it definitely shows men that I am not to be played with. One time I was in the barbershop talking to one of the Barbers and I was explaining a situation to him and he stopped me and said, “he knew what kind of lady he was talking to. He knew he couldn’t say that to you.” The Barber saying this made me feel good because it showed me that the energy that I put out to the men around me is the energy I am getting back which is respect, dignity, and pride. Now if I had showed any signs of weakness, I wouldn’t receive the response I do from men who are in my presence.

All in all, never allow the loneliness to take over you and your mind. Be a better person to YOU. Know your strengths, know your weaknesses, but overall know YOURSELF. You should never compromise the love you have for yourself to be with someone else. People who love themselves set standards for their lives, for their existence, and never allow anyone THICK PENIS or not to take advantage of that love. I am the PRESIDENT of the I LOVE ME club. I have it tatted on me and I definitely hold myself in high regard because I understand that a man is not my JESUS and that in the end when it’s all said and done, all I got is GOD and ME.

My I love me tat on my wrist

I hope reading this help some of you ladies because Lord knows we all need some inspiration sometime. Remember, Love is precious, love is kind, and most of all love for self is what makes you SHINE!

Love: Pilar Sanders: The Pretty Girl & Her Ego When Moving On!

Dear Diary,

*I don’t know Pilar, Deion, or Tracey so this blog entry is based on assumption and not fact!

Today was a crazy day on Twitter. Hell, when is there ever not a crazy day on Twitter? People are for sure losing their mind online and the main people who are bugging out is these damn celebrities. Well, these semi celebrities.

Football Hall of Famer, Deion Sanders, posted tweets along with pictures stating that his estranged ex–wife Pilar Sanders (who I think he still isn’t legally divorced from), had attacked him and that he was pressing charges and sending her ass to jail. When I heard this, all I could think was damn, another pretty girl bites the dust.

What is the dust?

Well the dust is when a girl and her man breaks up and he moves on a little faster than she expected. We women hate to admit this to men but we don’t like for them to move on before we do. Hey, I think that is people in general. We want to seem like the ones who are popping and who moved on with our lives first.

Everyone looks at Pilar as such a sex symbol and expected for her to move on with her life rather quickly but that is not the case in this situation. Pilar isn’t handling the divorce very well because she was tricked into the divorce. She was the one going around telling the media that she was going to file for divorce first; Deion must have found out and convinced her to stay only to REALLY file for divorce a little bit later. That action threw Pilar for a loop and made her feel very crazy.

Now the dust is the female’s ego. Whether you are cute or not, everyone woman has a ego and they don’t want their feelings to be played with no matter what. Pilar knew that Deion was getting it popping with Babyface’s ex-wife, Tracey. She even placed that she wanted Tracey to take the stand in their divorce trial as one of Deion’s mistresses. Now Pilar is no saint herself; I heard rumors that she was getting it on and popping with a rapper/mogul while she was still married (but you didn’t hear that from me) but she never got sloppy and let her ish hang all out. Note: A lady never gets sloppy. She cleans up her mess after she is done (literally).

What drove Pilar over the edge is the fact that now Deion (once again one step ahead of her) has decided to go public with his affections for Tracey. Now I don’t know if Tracey and Deion was getting it on and popping while he was with Pilar but knowing what I know about men, my guess would be yes. I say this because Tracey shouldn’t be so happy to go on the red carpet with a man who is still legally married. Like I tell all my male friends who are separated who want me to hook them up with my single friends: “Separated is still married; call me when you get a divorce.” Pilar is shocked and appalled that Deion would bring her out in public. She felt like it was a smack in her face and it really hurt her ego and that is why she reacted the way she has did (which is with violence).

Granted Tracey is not as pretty as Pilar, but she has one thing Pilar doesn’t have and that is work ethic a.k.a a CAREER. Tracey is what we call a Boss Chick. She has been making moves on her own since for ever. Pilar claims that Deion never allowed her to work so I guess it comes in deep shock to her that he is now open like a token for a chick who works hard and has her own “name”. I believe Pilar misunderstood what Deion was saying. He claimed he didn’t want a reality show chick who hosted club parties as his wife. Tracey has not yet to appear on a janky ass reality show or host a club party and I don’t believe she would in the future.

Pilar has to do what I am telling women to do in my next book and that is “take your L like a real chick.” You can beat love into a man who doesn’t wants to be with you. I know this because back in 2005, me and the “love of my life” broke up and he moved on and wifed some Spanish chick in the Bronx up. I broke into his Sprint PCS phone and saw all the messages he wrote to her and I threw up in my mouth. He was calling her ass ‘princess’ and shit. Hell, he ain’t never call me a princess, LOL.

One night I called his phone to speak to him about how I was feeling and he happily said, “you broke up with me and I decided to move on. So take it for what it is.” Me being a crazy ass 21-year-old, Brooklyn chick, I decided to put on my green Juicy sweatsuit and walk over his house to start an argument. Needless to say he dissed me and closed the door in my face. I was very embarrassed because the whole ‘hood was outside, so my dumb ass decides to punch in his door. After I punched in the door, I fall on a sheet of ice that was on his stoop and my whole ass falls out of the sweatpants. Yes, I forgot to put panties on. SMH.

Needless to say, I moved on after that situation and realized that no dude was worth me going that hard for. He didn’t want me back and he made that very clear (Crystal). He moved on and didn’t owe me anything. I think as women we believe that men belong to us even after we break up but really that is not the case. When it’s over, it’s over. Pilar should never had fought him with her hand, fight him with his pocket. Deion showing up on the red carpet with Tracey would have been the proof Pilar needed to show the court that he was unfaithful during their marriage and that would have helped her get more money in her divorce settlement. Instead she played herself like a bird and put him a position of power to now make her look mentally unstable and like a bad parent (if she did do the things he accused her of doing in front of their children).

See this is the advantage the WG (white girl) would always have over us BG (black girls) and that is we fight with our hearts and not our minds. Now her pretty ass and her ego is going to the big house. My only advice to Pilar now is…

Don’t Drop the Soap!

Leave a comment about this Deion/Pilar/Tracey mess and definitely share with your peoples who can’t get over their exes!