Dear Diary,

Now a days it is hard being a motivated woman. I guess it’s because most men are indeed intimidated by a strong woman who knows what she wants. When you are a successful chick, It’s better to already have someone already who understands those late nights of script writing (my life), those days when you take a lot of money out of the home to enhance your business (my life), you traveling, meeting new and exciting people. Everything in these type of relationships are cool until you sit down and ask yourself, are you the only motivated one in your relationship.

Being on the grind is not an easy thing; but hey, someone has to do it. I am a certified general when it comes down to grinding so I don’t expect any man who grinds as much as I do. In my past relationships, I have had a huge problem being with dudes because they’re grind was very limited. I am the type of person who goes hard in the paint when I want something in life. I go out and make shit happen; straight up and down. I hate dudes who sit around and dream about what they want to do and I hate people (in general) who’s excuse to why they don’t go after their dreams is because they don’t have the money. I always tell people who don’t have the money to at least come up with a game plan on how to get the money and also a game plan for the dream itself so your ass can be ready when you finally do get the money.

Plan…Plan is a word that wasn’t even in my dictionary until about a few weeks ago (don’t judge me!). Through trial and error, I have learned that if you fail to plan, you plan to fail and a DUDE WITHOUT A PLAN IS A FAIL (a vice versa).

You can’t be the only planner in your relationship. You have to definitely have the same kind of thoughts when it comes down to living your life together as a couple. If you are thinking like a millionaire and he is thinking like a “as long as I make $100 a day,” your relationship will not last through the test of time no matter how good you guys seem to be good for each other on a personal level.

My parents have been married for 28 years and I’d like to think that majority of the reasons why they are still married is because they wanted the same things out of life which was some kids, a good job, a good benefit package, and a home to raise their family in. Fortunately, they accomplished every goal they had and checked it off the list. Now they are just chilling and living happily and that is the formula to good relationships…Yes, in a good relationship you and your mate is on the same page when it comes down to your life and for your future. No one is jealous of anyone and everyone is focused on the plan.

Now what happens when you are on your GRIND and he isn’t?

Good question, from my experience this leads to jealousy and the relationship doesn’t last for the long haul. A person you sleep with every night can be jealous of you and mostly because you out there getting yours versus him going out there and talking about getting his. The guy gets either very sad because he realizes that his grind doesn’t match yours, or he gets real competitive with you and your achievements like he is playing basketball with is boys, or he starts to talk down/insult because he feels less than a man next to you and your achievements.

The first sign of jealousy is the not telling their friends or family members about your achievements. You’ve been promoted and is now making double the money but your man just so happen to forget to tell his mama about your promotion when he goes around telling her everything else. – He’s jealous

If he starts asking too many questions about your recent achievements, can’t come to your graduation (all of a sudden), start bringing up someone else’s accomplishments that seem to be doing better than you, or try to insult you- he is jealous and you my friend don’t need him.

The last but worse thing a jealous dude does is CHEAT. This happens when your accomplishments has turned your 6’5 man into a size of a baby shrimp and he need some loving from a chickenhead who admires the fact that he “at least has a job.” He gets all in her cooch to make himself feel better because he don’t feel like the man standing next to you. He knows that cheating on you will make you feel low (self-esteem wise) if you find out. If you don’t find out, he knows inside of his head what happened, which makes him feel like he has a one up on you.

Woah, its a cold world out here. I go deep into this jealousy in my book, “Girl, Get Your Mind Right!”

Anyway,

If you are single and/or looking for Mr. Right (even though, a woman should wait until Mr. Right finds her); ask yourself, does his grind match my grind before you waste your time giving out the goodies. Remember, he doesn’t have to be a millionaire or a basketball player to be a grinder because I have met plenty of people with money who are not GRINDERS. Don’t waste your time in a relationship with someone you know is not going to EVER match your GRIND…especially with one who don’t understand when it’s time to step their GRIND up. You have to have these honest conversations with your mate before you do something drastic in your relationship like get married or have children.

Man, I swear this love ish is all so complicated, just make the right decisions for yourself!

How important is it to you to have a man who grind hard? Please comment and share with others!