My parents have been married for 28 years and often times, I sit and wonder how the hell do they do it. Hell, my parents have spent more than 10, 220 days of their lives being married to each other. Geesh, that is a long ass time. I ask my moms from time to time, does she ever get bored of the sex? Or get sick of being with my father? And she always says the same thing, “you will never get tired of being with the person who is the one for you.” Damn that sounds good but shit now a days what is the one.
The number one makes me think!!! One means being with a person in hopes that they will satisfy your needs mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially. Man, sounds like a lot of pressure for that one. So I ask myself, wouldn’t life be easier if we were allowed to have two people to come in and split the responsibilities of making one happier. Man, I’m a hustla so I always think of practical solutions that can make things move more swift.
Everytime my mother try to give me advice about men and finding the one i stop her because she hasn’t been single since Marvin Gaye was alive. Women roles have changed and men DEFINITELY have changed. Moms is from a time where men took over the households and brought home the bacon. She always tell my sisters and I stories about the good old days and how if you smoked, a dude brought over the cigarettes; if you drink, dude brought over the bottle; and if you eat, the dude brought over the food; no ifs ands or buts about it.
Things have certantly changed, now adays dudes come over empty handed and expect you to suck them off like they are King Dingaling or something (save the suck ladies). They don’t even ask you if you need something before they come thru, SMH. Granted, women standards have changed over the years but many dudes haven’t learned the fundamentals of being a man which makes it hard for single women out here to find one dude who can satisfy their every need.
The world is crazy. It’s like if you meet a guy who has good sex, he doesn’t have a job and if you meet a guy with a job, he doesn’t have a car and if you meet a dude with a job and a car, he lives at home with his mama. It’s like how can you find a whole person to make you happy as a whole person when there are not many whole people out here. There are just a bunch of people out here trying to find themselves. And to those people trying to find themselves, keep doing you and keep others out your mix. You can’t be anyone’s #1 until you have everything together for yourself which should be your #1 priority.
I think you can find one person to satisfy your needs if you dont want or need much but if you live an advanced life, there is no way one person can satisfy you. The more complex your life is, the harder it is to be with one person who you feel can make you happy. I know that people with advanced lives are hard to please and expect so much out of people that we end up being disappointed but hey that is life.
I just think it is great to date multiple people until you find someone who fulfils at least 80% of your needs. Hey, Rome wasn’t built in a day. The person who fulfils that much percent in today’s society is a keeper because it is really hard. To find out what percent of your needs your lover have on lock, write down 10 of the ultimate needs you need to have in your love life. Now check off every need your “one” lover provide and the percentage will be clear. If you check off 3/10, your man only fulfil 30% of your needs (which is a fail); if you check off 8/10, then boom pow pow, he or she is a keeper.
The more advance of a person you are, the more needs you have which means the less likely a mere mortal is able to keep up with the checklist (not the one Chilli had).
I guess my feelings about being with one person will change ultimately when I meet the right person but I wont waste time thinking about it. Life is too short to be worrying about the “one” when you can have two or three in your life that you can rotate to your convenience. Yup, the funny man, the money man, the lover man, the sex man, etc.
Dating one person is hard and it takes a lot of patience and both parties must be down with the program in order for it to work. Hell, a lot of people think they’re with people when in all actuality, they are BY THEMSELVES. You won’t catch me out there!!! I say stop looking for the one and just do you!!! It will make you a lot happier in the end of the day but I know seeing people like my parents make you want the one infinite love…