Dear Diary,
I always used to hear other women say, “I hate having female friends,” and every time I heard that I would debate with them about that statement. My argument was that every girl need female friends for shopping, to gossip with, and to make moves with so all the boys could be open. I often dreamed of having this “power crew” but as time moved on, I realized that that my dream was damn near impossible with the kind of chicks I was hanging with.
Bishes are JEALOUS! Poor bishes are jealous and rich bishes are even more jealous. The poor ones are jealous because they don’t have enough money to do the things you do and go the places you go and the rich ones are jealous because they don’t have no swag and even with all the money in the world, they can’t accomplish any task successfully. Most rich bishes married into money (and I am not mad at ya for doing so) so they didn’t grind like the rest of us. They want to prove to their mate and the rest of the world that they are hustlas when in fact they really are not; and there is nothing wrong with not being a hustla. Hell, some have it, some don’t. Can’t be mad at that.
I knew this before but I really know it now, bishes try to be your friend when you are motivated because they need someone to be their “career coach” and give them ammunition when they don’t feel like doing anything today. They know that no matter what, you are on 100 and is going to at least uplift their go getta spirit to at least a 50.
You start out being their motivation and the next thing you know, they wake up with the bright idea that they want to be the MOTIVATOR, the LEADER of the grind in the crew. These type of chicks don’t want to be the student anymore. They want to take over and get you out of business. These are delusional people who truly need psychological help. They want to fight the teacher like their name is Tommy Gunn (all my Rocky V fans know who Tommy Gunn is).
They look at what you do and say, oh I am going to do the same thing but I am going to do it better…She has a blog, oh no, I am going to put this on my blog. She has a new show, oh no, I am going to get a better show. She has a store in Brooklyn selling accessories, I am going to help some bish who never wore accessories in her life start her own accessories company. Except they started online. LOL. You know people never have the heart or the money to do certain things when they try to infiltrate.
Everyone wants to be that CHICK but they fail miserably because no matter how much you bite off of the MOTIVATOR, you have to have the hustle in you. Being a hustla takes more than just wanting something or getting some site on Bigcartel, it takes a dream, marketing, networking, saving, strategizing, etc.
Besides people biting off of your MOTIVATION, you have those “friends” who are hasbeens. They used to have this or used to have that and are mad because you STILL have this or that. Here’s a hint: No one cares about what you used to have or used to do. All we care about is now.
Then you have the “friends” that get quiet every time you tell them about something good in your life. Yeah if you are telling her about some new deal you received and she is so quiet that you have to call out her name to see if she is still on the phone. She’s a hater- GET RID OF THAT BISH!
I mean I can go on and on about the type of chicks who I just don’t bang with but that will take more time than I have at this very moment. Chicks are just funny and I am glad that I decided to take other women advice and stay away from them for the time being. I am back hanging with my boys because there are certain things a woman shouldn’t have to deal with within her crew. When there is jealousy and envy it makes everyone in the crew look bad.
Why be jealous of someone who is supposedly your peoples? Whatever happen to if I win, you win. Chicks are just so funny. I am just glad that I decided to stay away and just do me and I advise you to do the same before you find yourself in an unfortunate situation. I have decided to cut off everyone I have to side eye because frankly, I am too busy to have to sleep with one eye open. I don’t have time for that and I don’t need secret drama and envy around me.
I truly believe the reason why I was going through some hard times in my past is because I had a bunch of jealous heffas around me waiting for my downfall. Well I guess their hater prayers wasn’t strong enough because I am still here doing me and got some big, crazy ish coming soon!!!
Pray for the haters and get rid of the frenemies…
Share your stories of hate inside of your circle!!! Damn, keep your circle like you keep your vagina (TIGHT)!!!
Great article as always Tionna!!! My answer to people that always have a problem with how I do things is
When you’re thorough
People say you’re too much
When you’re efficient
People say you’re just extra
When you’re precise
People say you’re just picky
But, when all of the above is beneficial to people
Then you’re right on time
So, keep it moving and let me be the Greatness HE created me to be!!
Check out my blog at lovebugsworld@wordpress.com
Hey Big Sis!!! Love the Blog and your Inspirational and funny spirit. Plus you keep it too Trill. Im a young Boss in training The first female Rap Artist from l.i. And a nys licensed cosmetologist. Im 25 have no kids a h.s.diploma and all my dreams and ambition and drive and although I have had many female friends growing up or coming into adulthood Ive cut ties with them due to the Hate Jelousy and Swagger Jacking ive experienced from women. Men too. But women are more obvious n catty n I had to check myself but I Know Me and Theres no jelousy in my bones or hate in my blood maybe BC im a Leo n we think we are the best like DJ Khaled lol. This article spoke volumes to me
and answered some of my questions BC im uniquely talented..and sometimes these friends soak in my energy n TRY to take advantage of my loving caring spirit
I had a current friend just recently tell me she envy’s me because I’m happy with just me. I didn’t kno whether to take it as a compliment or assume she’s gonna attempt to sabotage me
I even Tweeted this morning “I think my “friends” think were in competition and this is why I dont have Too Many BC the Swagger Jack is REAL and I cant keep a straight face”. Sometimes I miss Girl Time but I just dont like Drama or Bad energy n negativity around me and this article helped me to understand. Identify and Watch Out for the signs of Frienemies
Soooo true!!1 I would love to have female friends but for some reason they never stick around. And even those friends that I thought were my true blue friends were secretly jealous of me, talking about me behind my back and just not being a good friend. I’m glad I’m not alone in this. I don’t have time for the foolishness. I got ish to do!!
U couldn’t have said that any better. I’m a business owner with male friends(none that I’m intimate with) simply for the peace of mind. It’s sad you can’t find wholesome friends that are supportive & genuinely happy for you. I realized we’re in a league of our own so all we can do is support one another from afar. Real chicks do real things. (:
I unfortunately have no girlfriends left because of this. I have prayed that God sends me friends that are not envious or jealous of me and what I have going on. I was their biggest cheerleader but all I got was crickets when it came to me. When I was applying for my second internship, one said, “But you have already had one.” I did not know I was only limited to one. When my friend and I were interested in applying for the same thing, I kept asking her for the info. I never recieved it. I found out about it on my own and when I brought it up she said, “Did I tell you that?” So she never wanted me to find out how to apply for it. Before I cut her out of my life, she would tell me that her mother would constantly ask what I was doing. She would not ask about any of her other friends. My motto has always been, even if I didn’t get it, I would rather have someone in my circle to get it. If it was meant for me then I would get it. If not, then I would rather one of them get it.
SO TRUE…. MY MOTHER USE TO ALWAYS TELL ME NOT TO HANGOUT WITH TO MANY WOMEN CUZ THEY HATE ON YOU AND SMILE IN YOUR FACE.AND SOME ISH LIKE THAT IS HAPPENING NOW
Tionna-
Thank you so much for sharing. You hit the nail on the head with this because this was my story 5 years ago. I relocated from STL to ATL and the so called friends I had in my life for over 10 years talked about me through email but the bish accidentally emailed it to me. I guess it was meant for me to see it before it left St. Louis. However, I was so hurt because I couldnt understand how could close friends be so envious of one’s success. But then I realized it justified whats not going on in their life. At that point I vowed to only keep go getters in my life and we can be supportive of each other.
Dont get me wrong I’ve had quite a few downfalls and hardships but I wont give up.
On another note, I am very happy for you Tionna and all you success. I have been following you since the Chili show. In addition I went out to purchase your books and love them. Congratulations on all your blessings and keep pushing because you are a motivation to myself and so many others.
Amen sister! coming from a fellow entrepreneur hustler. My whole flow has been trying to convince women to stick together more especially in business practices but it’s just not in some women to work together instead of against each other. I’ve given up on being a counselor and I’m focused 100% on making my business work and keeping like minded people around. I never hate on the woman that is doing the damn thing because it was that woman that gave me the push to want to be better for myself. I remember when I didnt have a car and I saw a complete stranger getting into hers and I said to myself…I want to be like her someday… I didnt say “hmm wonder what she did to get that”..and all that other negative bs. I used her as a place marker so that I could push harder to get to where she is and keep climbing. However, when you come to realize there are weeds growing in your friend garden…you definately need to start weed wacking so you can grow a healthy business with healthy relationshps. Being a hustler is tough enough, the last thing you need is even more negative energy when you get home each day after a long days work. Kudos to you for this article.
I appreciate this & U.. Keep doing what U R doing.. #greatleader
Yes yes yes yes yes…. Let them know Tee. I just wrote a status about hoes being jealous on my facebook page. Sometimes its not even bout what u have but who u are as a person. These hoes admire u in secret but assassinate ur character openly
You are a blessing truly im not even gonna front I definitely have some frenemies hanging on by a string that I need to cut off I don’t know about Them but ima do me & stay on top regardless. I didn’t. Pay it no mind when they get quiet after I tell them good news I just laugh like you think ya ass mad now just wait lmfao its definitely time to sit they asses in the corner Indian style
Y waste time with them??? Cut em off!!!
I have a friend who is my ride or die we have been friends for almost 20 years then I had a friend who was like my sis I even made her godmother to my first born the problem came when I was sick in the hospital for a month I heard from her once and that was it she never checked on her godchild nor me even after I can home I decided to talk to her about it and she somehow became the victim and stopped talking to me I do sometimes miss her friendship but most important she is my daughter godparent and I don’t know if I should try and fix our friendship with someone who thinks she’s better off with no friends
Try to fix it and if that dont work, f her!
Wow that is so true that why i dnt hang with female i kick it with the guys ….. in that website big cartel just send me a request who is that Tionna???
An e-commerce store site
This is so true. When I told my best friend about my business she got quiet, never asked how it was going throughout the process or offered to help/advice. That definitely hurt. It even took her FOREVER to like my FB fan page. I had to send her an invite to like it. It hurts but you have to push forward. Oh, I actually do have a BG site but I’m motivated and determined to make it to the top. I’ve been making money since I was 10 years old so the hustle is deep in me. lol
You are real as they come. I love the truth and only deal with those who do. Keep doing your thing Sistah.
Very true. That’s probably why men expecially industry men are the way they are. You see them and “all their niggas” with them as they come up. They stick together because the hustla/leader of that group knows that strength is in numbers and communicates that to the pack. They have beef from time to time but men don’t really go there like women do unless it’s on some really foul shit. If females thought that way instead of trying to always backstab and “one-up” each other, then maybe there wouldn’t be so many “jump-offs, promo hoes, hell…hoes” period.
Good frenemy story
I met a cool chick last year, we were both going through similar rough phases in life so we would motivation each other, or so I thought.
Well she got a decent job and I was working part time. Basically she got on her feet and when we did plan to step out she started flaking. She called me one day trying to hook me up with her new beau’s cousin so that we could all play cards that eve. I asked to speak to the guy and his convo was intellectual so I said why not step out?
I called ms shake and flake back to see wht she had on that night (didn’t want to outshine ) and asked if I should just throw clothes on or what. She told me she was actually on her way out the door. I didn’t call the guy back, I just chilled at home.
The next day he called asking what happened to me last night? :/
He told me that not only did my friend not go home, she had an over night tote with her so she planned to stay the night.. hell naw.
She has since lost her job, car and is transient. Her mother kicked her out after she quit her job. She brags about sexing guys with cash yet she never has any.
Long story short, after reading this I feel more compelled to cutt her off entirely.
I’m nowhere near perfect, but if I fux with you then you never have to worry about curve balls!
Also, I too moved to ATL from STL and just recently stopped speaking to a very envious frenemy ….it’s not always your material possessions that others want. If you grew up in the hood and you still carry yourself with class, your articulate, and charming ….chances are bishes are going to diss you indirectly yet claim your not ‘real’.
Afterall, the goal is to make it OUT the hood!
I actually had this done to me by a FAMILY member. We grew up together hell I thought we shared a extra bond besides being family. Well I always had the failed relationship with the baby daddy, crying all the time bc he was a cheater. So at that current time she had a better relationship with hers so things were so call all good. Well one day I met a guy and gave him a chance even though he wasn’t who I really wanted at that time. Turned out the be the BEST thing to ever happen to me. He changed my view on men totally. Showed me how a woman suppose to be treated, took in my kids as his own, I mean everything! And to this day he hasn’t stopped doing that yet and it’s been 4 years. Well the female ended up going thru all kinds of bad stuff damn near death behind her BD and now alone. Well me and my boyfriend had an argument about a disagreement…this chick had the nerve to call him telling him he don’t need me, I don’t deserve the type of guy he is AND had the nerve to have him listen in on me & her on the phone on a conversation me & her were having about him. Well long story short…family or not she’s completely cut off bc she’s trifling, and me and my good dude I prayed to God to send me are still going strong!
Wow thats one thirsty ass chick. Good u got her out of your life!
Nothing wrong with cutting those simple hating bitches off!!
I’m been eager to let “friends” go when I see warning signs, especially after reading this blog..—> http://blackgirlsareeasy.com/2012/03/we-need-to-talk-about-fake-bitches.html its written by a man, I don’t know him personally, but his blog I’d good shit. Have a look.