Dear Diary,
When I was younger, I was a girl who dreamed of being married and living happily ever after. I believed that if you you were in a relationship with love that you would never go through problems. Boy as I got older my life and views has certantly changed. I realize now that in order to have a great relationship, you have to go through some ish.
I remember going over wedding songs with Cas and he said that he wanted our wedding song to be New Edition’s “Can You Stand the Rain.” When he said that I wanted to punch him in his throat but then I begin to listen to the lyrics over and over. Listening to the song really opened my eyes to love and relationships in general. Yes, everybody love you when things are great and life is good but what happens when the storm come? Are you going to be in the rain with me, running around with no umbrellas? Most people wont be around when bad ish happen or when a change of life come. Great song choice Cas but it aint happening (laughs).
When choosing a mate, you have to ask yourself can my love for this person stand the test of time? Will I still love and want to be with this person if he was in a car accident and was no longer able to dick me down the same way? What about if he lost his income and wasn’t able to buy you all of those expensive things you like?
These questions are real because in life, real shit happens and your answers are what determines whether your love is real or is it just plain fantasy. A couple who never went through anything drastic dont know what it is to ride or die for their mate. You need a real test to have a testimony of love.
Many single people and those who are in new relationships have ideologies about what they think relationships are but they wouldnt know what a relationship was if you smacked them in the face with one. Relationships are getting thru the rough patches and still making it work. It will not always be dreamy, sometimes bad times will come but it’s up to us to make it through and make it, TOGETHER.
So the next time you and your man is going through it, remember you’re not good until you make bad GREAT. Relationships that go through it, GET THROUGH IT.
Share your stories of standing the rain with your man!!!!! Also, please share!
Hey T!
Great post! I agree with your thoughts 150% because of my experiences. Like you said, if I did not experience these moments within my relationship, I probably would not agree. My relationship is going on 2 years (feels SO great!), and in the beginning we used to always tell one another, it’s just too perfect. But as time progressed, we saw that is was not perfect AT ALL! And the beauty of imperfection has helped us so much. Moving from NY to ATL, our life changed, literally, financially, health wise, sex wise, and social life. And through those moments, we were together with our umbrella until the sun began to shine. Then of course, when the clouds begin to form, we put our umbrellas on our side and pull them out when needed. I am blessed to have my mate by my side, and appreciate every single piece of sunshine and thunder we encounter its real!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Oh, and P.S Here is a suggestion, you don’t have to follow it but it would make myself and others, I’m sure, feel a little better….
Not every woman who follows your wonderful thoughts are in a relationship with a man. I’m with a woman, and we have our thunder storms as well! Maybe instead of writing, “so the next time you and man…” you can say “you and your mate”.
Just a suggestion.
Looking forward to the next post!
XOXOXOXO
Nye.
Randomthoughtsexperiences.blogspot.com
Yes lots of people are in the clouds when it comes to making a real relationship work, done have a darn clue, especially the young, but don’t put out over the older generations. It takes love and team work to really get through the test of time.
I agree with you. Both people have to be grounded to deal with fuckery. My husband has been out of the country for two of the six years we have been married and it kills me but we are dealing with it. I see him once a month in person and skype when I’m home. LOVe is hard at times!
I love this post! people don’t realize that all the things they think “Love” it’s really not…love is so pure and unconditional..When you truely love a person you are connected to that person in a “twin like” way and you love that a person so genuinely that you dare not hurt them bc hurting them is like hurting yourself.
I totally understand what you’re saying here but when will enough b enough? I’m going having issues with a guy I’ve been with 4 too many years. I’ve stood around working through ish, thinking it was going to get better. Don’t get me wrong. He will bend over backwards for me but at the same damn time degrade me, belittle me and so much more. I feel like relationships are built to last. But it takes 2 people. If 1 person is doing all the work. The battles isn’t worth fighting for. Great story line but I’m fed up with working it out. It’s over for them if U ask me!!!
Definitely takes two and if he belittles you, hit the road jack!
Thanks for sharing this! Sometimes we def. need a reminder as we are enduring the storm.